THE OFFICIAL FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – DO IT YOURSELF BONDAGE KIT…

Greetings Poutlings

It’s time for another sour post about the best-selling-yet-worse-written book that has sold millions of copies on hype alone, yet it is somehow credited with saving marriages the world over (what, pray tell, were you all doing before this horrendous piece of “literature” came long?? playing Scrabble??) has now inspired an OFFICIAL 50 SHADES SEX TOY RANGE….

Which, just happens to be out just in time for Christmas.

THE OFFICIAL 50 SHADES OF GREY SEX TOY RANGE

GRRRRRR.

This actually gives me a stress headache. If you NEED to re-enact scenes from a childishly-written book using sex toys inspired by said book, your sex life is truly beyond saving.

Ok, that’s harsh… let me put it this way… YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG… (and it’s not beyond saving, I need to stop being so damn melodramatic). At least people are making an effort to get jiggy-with-it and I do appreciate that once people pop out children, getting off often goes out of the window. So, well done for trying.

After seeing this stupid sex toy range, I cannot shake the thought of suburban couples blindfolding and spanking each other with the £24.99  (roughly R300) Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle and the wife moaning as Anastatia does in the book: ‘Spank me please… sir.‘ just makes me squirm and feel very uncomfortable… not in a good way.

Am I overreacting? Probably. The commerical world is so over rated and it would appear that E.L. James has just joined the MASSIVE-SELL-OUT bandwagon to make more money over hype.

And this is what I think about that….

**missfitz