So, Saturday afternoon I got dressed in a tank top and jeans, did my hair and makeup and off we went to Sexpo with my cash in hand and my comfy shoes on.
When we arrived, we were in awe – if not a little overwhelemed – by the large crowd. It was so full that just entering the place was a bit of a mission, but it wasn’t like we weren’t expecting it. We browsed through the halls to find thousands of stalls with toys, costumes and DVD’s of people’s deepest desires -where we found some freaky shit, lemme tell you!
From a girl who was painted as a pink leaopard walking around in her knickers to an old dude massaging a young chick in places I really wished I never saw to the “WOW 3D EXPERIENCE” that wasn’t so “wow” at all, I have to say that all in all, Sexpo 2011 wasn’t as great as I was expecting, despite the hype around it.
There were, however, some good bits. I managed to meet Miss Michelle “Bombshelle” McGee, who was a bit shy (who’d have known?) and asked if she would pose for a photo with me and she was about to say she would when one of the girls managing the ordeal said in her I’m-so-obviously-South-African-but-trying-to-sound-American-fake-accent told me that if we wanted to have a photo taken with Michelle that they would charge us R300… now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big enough a fan to pay R300 for a friggin photo! So, instead I got a hug. Aww! lol!
As for the strip shows, we saw an amatuer strip show where the girls looked confused and the guys did everything to look super funny and obviously the funny, fat guy with his willy hanging out won the prize as all the guys shouted for him to win.
Then, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee got on stage and did this weird thing on the pole that looked absolutely incredible! I think I have a new girl crush…
There were many pamphlets to be given out (as with all expo’s), there were many free shots given away (holy cow, did anyone else smell that delicious caramel vodka as you walked in?!) , but the prices on things were ridiculous considering the entrance price.
If I could have improved Sexpo myself, I’d have made the entrance fee cheaper so people could actually AFFORD the merchandise inside, I’d have more promo peeps handing out the shooters instead of standing in their stalls making people guess whether the shooters are free or not, had more professional strippers do their thing on the stage instead of random people making fools of themselves and I’d definitely have more stuff to do and filled more halls. But that’s just me.
Did you have a better time at Sexpo than me? Comment and let me know!