Hey there Amigo’s and Amiga’s.
So this post will not help you in any way whatsoever! It’s just a bit of sarcastic responses I would give to the…
TOP QUESTIONS ASKED REGARDING BEAUTY
So let’s go….
1) What foods are good for your skin?
Sandy’s answer? Those that aren’t bad! Like the foods you’re most probably eating now and therefore have a terrible skin. Eat the opposite of what you’re eating right now. Really!
Ok, we all know what’s good for our skins. Come on. Do these people really think junk is good? Processed food? Fizzy drinks? No! What is? Water, salad, veg, salmon, nuts etc.
2) How can I create a smokey eye?
Sandy’s answer? Watch a pathetic episode of those Kardashians and you’ll know. Uhg.
Ok, for real? If you don’t really know how, practice with lining the lash line with black eyeliner and smudge it. You’ll get an idea of what it looks like. Add mascara and voilà. Done, if you’re not good at makeup applications, just go onto YouTube. Type in “Smokey eye tutorials”! Need I say more?
3) How can I make waves in my hair?
Sandy’s answer? Go for a swim or stand on a mountain and wait for a strong breeze!
If you have naturally straight hair, this is a mission to achieve. Wash hair, apply a curling mousse, dry with the diffuser. That way you can get somewhat of a wave effect. Or just braid your hair and sleep. Next morning you’ll have a weird but “wavy” style. haha
4) What colour should I dye my hair?
Sandy’s answer? One that suits you!
5) How do you apply eyeliner?
Sandy’s answer? Ask your 2-year-old to do this for you! Or just use your feet!
Come on! “How do you apply eyeliner?” Are you sh!tting me? Carefully!!!
6) How can I get rid of dandruff?
Sandy’s answer? Don’t ask me! I’ve never suffered from it.
From what I’ve heard, there is this product called Head and Shoulders. Try it and let me know.
7) What is the best way to style short hair?
Sandy’s answer? Anything that doesn’t resemble a damn pixie or a chicken! OH EM GEE, I’ve had enough of that!
As long as it’s clean. Find out what your face shape is. Google for celebs with the same facial shape and those who have similar features to that of your own. That way you’ll get a general idea of what to do.
8) How much should you tip your hairdresser?
Sandy’s answer? You don’t! Who tips their hairdresser? You pay for the cut, blow wave, colour, style and everything at the end when you’re dissatisfied with what the idiot did on your head anyway!
I’ve never tipped or heard of tipping the hairdresser! This is not needed! He or she is not a waiter. If you really want to tip someone in the salon, then the person that washes your hair could do with a tip. IF they didn’t burn your scalp with boiling water!!
9) Which hair salons do Locks of Love?
Sandy’s answer? GREAT ONES!
Ask your salon if they will join the Locks of Love cause if they’re not doing so yet. Maybe your request is the one that makes the change!
10) What colour eyeshadow is right for me?
Sandy’s answer? One that doesn’t look like your man hit the living daylights outta you! Oh and for goodness sake, NO BABY blue with that stupid pink lip effect and matching pink cheeks!
Brown eyes: ALL eyeshadow colours suit you! Aren’t you just lucky? Ever green!
Blue eyes: Shame, we’re a bit stuffed! Don’t use too many frosty light colours. Will make you look ghostly! Go browns with little touches of colour.
Green eyes: Purples and browns! hmmmm. Think Autumn.
Hazel eyes: Don’t go for pastel colours.
Ok, so I didn’t go in-depth with the whole eyeshadow colour thing. But I will write-up a proper post on that for you! haha. This was just a bit of “fun”.
What would you have answered?