TIPS ON HOW TO BE – AN ALMOST PERFECT LADY- Sandylash Style

Hey there Amigo’s and Amiga’s

So today I thought.  “I feel like sharing out some Sandylash tips for girls”.

I don’t mind if you disagree, this is just my random opinion.  Let me know if you agree or disagree.  Let’s have some fun.

1.  HEELS ARE HOT

They elongate your legs.  Find a heel that suits your personality and look.  Don’t buy  thin string like heels with that cheapy-cheapy diamante.  Invest in proper good stuff.  I’m not saying Louboutins are the best.  These days you get good quality shoes for R500.00 and over.  You’ll also never go wrong in a flesh-coloured heel.

2.  SAY NO TO THE CAMEL-TOE/MOOSE KNUCKLE

We don’t need to confirm your sex by looking below the belt.  Loosen those pants ladies.  Esp women wearing tights for gym.  Goodness. No!

3.  MEN DON’T LIKE TOO MUCH MAKEUP

I’ve disagreed with this statement from the start.   Then again, I only know women who know how to apply sh!t loads of makeup properly.  If you know how, then by all means go for it.  We women like applying makeup for ourselves.  Not for you men.  We don’t tell you to stop scratching your bolas now do we?  It’s what you men do.  Makeup is what we do! Thanks!  Move along!

4.  SITTING CROSS LEGGED

Some say this is bad for you.  That it causes varicose veins.  Oh please, woman have it tough.  If we sit cross-legged we get told it’s bad.  When it’s apart we’re sluts.  Darn it!  If  God didn’t want us to cross them, then He would have made it physically impossible for us to do so.

5.  LAUGHING LOUD FOR ATTENTION

If something is truly funny, have a laugh.  It’s healthy to laugh.  But remember, you’re not a babbling barking baboon.  I’ve seen too many women doing this for attention, especially when they’re surrounded by a large crowd.  “Attention Hog!”

6.  HANGING ON FRIENDS

Don’t you just hate it when you’re standing by yourself and a friend comes and hangs on your shoulder while yelling something in your face?  Or they hang in between you and another person for what seems like ages?  I’m sorry, last time I checked I was not a hanger, this is not a closet and you’re no couture piece my darling.  Back off now!

7.  DON’T SLOUCH

Slouching doesn’t look good, nor does it do you any good.  It causes back problems and headaches.

8.  FLUSH AWAY THAT POTTY MOUTH

I can say some funny things like “bliksem, kak, sh!t, donner” etc.  But you just get those women that use the “EFF” word as a verb, an adjective and so forth.  Some use it as commas and fullstops.

My friend and I were once waiting for take aways long ago.  There was this girl… She spoke like this:  “Ya nee f-k, dit was bef-k f-kken lekker, f-k I like this effing food, effing nice.  See you effing next effing time.”  –  We looked at her in disgust and my friend said; “Stop effing swearing so effing much!”  She quickly realized what she sounded like from an outsiders perspective.

9.  SMILE

It makes you look happy, friendly and approachable.  However, avoid smiling at people who may be serial killers, sexual predators, pervs and stalkers.

10.  LOOK AFTER YOUR HAIR, NAILS AND TOENAILS.

These 3 things all men agree on.  Look after these 3 things and you’ll be sure to always look great.  Men love a woman with healthy hair.  Doesn’t matter if it’s short or long.  Just look after it.  Get that manicure done on a regular basis.  I mean, imagine the man of your dreams asking you to take his number, and you then save it on your phone.  He sees the “mess”.  He wont call.  He wont!  Oh and as for your feet.  Wearing heels cause thick skin under your feet.  My tip is to soak your feet in the bath.  Lather with soap.  Get a good quality shaver and shave your soles.  Basically “slicing” your feet.  Yes, it sounds gross, but it works.  Apply lotion and sleep with socks.  You’ll have baby-butt soft feet the next day.  DO NOT PROCEED IF BLOOD APPEARS, you have now gone too far!  You want to take away dead skin, not slice cold meat for your sarmie! (Gross Sandy) hahaha.

11.  BE A LADY, NOT A B!TCH

You are a lady!  Not a bitch, whore, slut or merely a female.  Women have these bitchy attitudes today;  “If people don’t like it, they can kiss my ass” kinda attitude.  Sure, if you’re standing up for something, then by all means.  Just make sure it’s worth standing up for!  But, if you behave as a proper lady would, you’ll only attract the good.  Sit back, do some introspection.  Do you need to “cut down” on some BS attitude?  I’m guilty of this.  Who isn’t?  But I’m aware of it.  That’s how I learn.

12.  LIMIT ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES

It’s all fun-and-games now, but it catches up to you.  My gran has smoked all her life.  She is over 70 now and still a smoker.  It’s absolutely terrible.  She won’t stop.  It suppresses her appetite.  She is a thin wrinkly mess.  Unhealthy!  All this excluding the alcohol.  Can only imagine if she had to drink too.  Keep it classy.  A glass of wine with dinner is perfect.  Cocktails are fine if you’re going out for lunch or dinner with your man or friends.  But you don’t NEED to have all kinds of alcohol just coz it sounds cool.  (Hate Shooters)

13.  Eat, PRAY, Love

Praying/Meditating first thing in the morning is the breakfast for the soul.  Nourishment for your inner beauty.  Be thankful for being healthy, being able to see, hear and speak.  We spend far too much time on ourselves without considering the fact there are children dying of cancers who wish they had hair.  Women burnt with acid, who are now faceless, wishing they could feel beautiful with some lipstick.  Give thanks for being “Perfect”.  See the good in others, listen to good advice and speak from the heart. xx

14.  DON’T LET-GO AFTER YOU GOT HIM

Absolutely scary how some women “let-go” once they got a boyfriend or a hubby.  Your marriage is a machine.  You and your man are parts to make this machine work.  And a machines’ parts needs maintenance.  You flippen maintain yourself as best you can.  This might seem a tad contradictory with what I said in point 13, but balance it out.  Men are visual creatures afterall.  Sometimes some women say their men cheated on them after a few years of marriage.  The famous words are “I don’t know what went wrong”…. Um, you went wrong!  No makeup, no working out, no more eating healthy.  Na ah!   I actually improved my own looks as my relationship went further and further.  Maybe it’s because I have such a good man in my life, that it’s easy for me?

lastly…(Sorry, I have too much to say)

15.  BE HEALTHY

Eat healthy, avoid fizzy drinks, drink water, eat foods with colour and work out!  If it looks like cellulite, it will give you cellulite.  Hanging out with friends who only eat junk will make you more likely to fall into their bad habit, than they to fall into your healthy lifestyle.  If your wee is too yellow and stinky, drink more water.  All bran high fibre flakes looks like crap?  Well that’s the point!  It’s to make you crap and detox.

Ok, now you can breathe, because this post is done! haha.

Hope you enjoyed it. 

MuchLuv♥

Sandylashxx

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14 Comments

Filed under Beauty, BLINGALING, Daily Banter, Diets, Drink, Fitness, Food, Funny, Gossip, Hair, Health, Hotties, Makeup, Men, Mistake, Nails, Oooh la la, Relationships, Tips

14 responses to “TIPS ON HOW TO BE – AN ALMOST PERFECT LADY- Sandylash Style

  1. Lenie Ware

    EXCELLENT :->

  2. That was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Haha. I have to agree with 3 & 6. Brilliant. 🙂

  3. sandrecas

    I totally agree with this blog post, all of it! I have to say though, my weakness is the laughing loud thing—–i have a LOUD laugh……sigh* Still love laughing my heart out……

    • Thanks Sandra, but I bet your laugh is from the soul. I’m talking about chicks who purposely do it. then look around to make sure all is looking. haha. thanks for the comment amiga. xx

  4. Funny, witty and SOOOO TRUE… LUV IT !! 😉

  5. Excellent and so very true….

  6. thanks for share. thumbs up! sven

  7. thanks for share. thumbs up sven

  8. Pingback: ALL SANDY’S POSTS IN ONE – INDEX, (SUMMARY) OF BLOGGER | Pout Perfection

  9. Pingback: Pout Perfection : 1 YEAR OLD TODAY | Pout Perfection

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