The Village Called; They Want Their Idiots Back…

Hi Pouters!

So, what is funnier than a pageant queens answers that may get a little lost in translation from the brain to the tongue? Well, celebrities when they are trying to be smart.

Here are some of my favourite idiotic quotes from the finest the media has to offer, or are there any better out there? 😉

“I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states.” – Raquel Welch

I think you missed that geography lesson.  

“A zebra does not change its spots.” – Al Gore

 Such a pity, I expected so much more from Al Gore.

A zebra has stripes!

“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” – Tara Reid

God. Help. Us. All.  

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” – Christina Aguilera

Oh my gawd…. Maybe its actually gonna be in Cannes for a change?? Sigh.  

“I don’t diet. I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.” – Linda Evangelista

Thats like a defination of a diet! OH EM GEE!  

“I think God is a giant vibrator in the sky, a pulsating force of incredible energy.” – David Arquette

I wonder what God thinks about being called a giant vibrator. Compliment? Insult?

“Is this chicken or is this fish?” – Jessica Simpson, on tuna

Its a lamb’s testical, dumbass. 

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean, I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey

I almost thought for a second you had a heart but then you started on your second sentence, and well, I realised your still a self centered ice queen. 

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Well, that defeats the point now. Doesn’t it?

“I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering my body.” – Christina Aguilera

I never knew this lady was a nudist. Good for her.  

“I’m shooting a commercial for safe sex. How ironic. Because I don’t have that.” – Tila Tequila

What a great example to set for the myspace generation! No wonder STDs spread like wildfire. Well done!

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields

That’s awesome, so once I’m killed I’ll have other insignificant parts of my life? Wooohooo!

“I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.” – George W. Bush

Don’t take my word on this, I’m not a medically qualified but that sounds like you have different voices talking to you in your head.

“If you have intercourse, you run the risk of dying, and the ramifications of death are final.” – Cyndi Lauper

Oh crap, how did my parents survive?

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don’t like eating fish, and I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” – Britney Spears

Oh goodness. Ok then – good for you!

*missfitzzz

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2 Comments

Filed under Celebrities, Daily Banter

2 responses to “The Village Called; They Want Their Idiots Back…

  1. Hahaha, they’re silly! Must be all those flashes from the camera. Effecting the brain. xx then again, i say lots of stupid things. xx

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