Monthly Archives: April 2012


Happy Friday Readers…

I feel like writing up a few posts on tips for brides. (NOT THAT I’VE BEEN ONE, BUT)  Having 3 older sisters, I have seen and experienced weddings more than most I guess.  Secondly, being Portuguese you get invited to LOADS of weddings.  

What is the main attraction of the wedding?  BRIDES!  Well, this is what everyone says.  Although I feel it’s about the MARRIAGE and not just about the dress, drink and party.

Anyhow, going to a lot of weddings, one does analyze the bride and what her dress looks like on her.  You stand there thinking you could have done better, you would have added this, done that.  This however doesn’t take away the fact that you’re looking at the most beautiful woman in the room.

So let’s get to the whole point of this post.  



  • Shorter than average brides should remember that the dress must not wear them!  
  • Keep things as uncluttered as possible.
  • Detailing should be kept simple.  
  • Beading should be kept to a minimal.    
  • Get something long and close fitted to your body, this will give off that elongating effect instead of seeing one big “princess poof mess” walking down the isle.  
  • If you really want to have that “princess” feel, opt for an A-line.  
  • Go for a sleeveless dress, show off this shoulders and arms.  This will also show more of you and less fabric.
  • Jewelry should also be kept simple and delicate.


  •  Don’t get too much of a poofy dress, or you’ll end up looking like a meringue.
  • The veil should also not be too detailed, if it is too long and too intricate, your guests may find it hard to find you.
  • Don’t do that ball gown dress!
  • Do not go for an umpire style dress or you might look pregnant.
  • Don’t do chunky jewelry.
  • Don’t overdo the makeup and keep it to very neutral colors, but add false lashes to add that vavavoom!

Here are some pictures of great dresses for you petite brides to be…..

And now for PERFECT MAKEUP …..

 So if you’re a petite lady and you’re getting married soon, I hope this helped you.  I tried to keep it as simple as possible.  

The next ‘bridal’ post I write, will be on the next body type and of course I think an overall DO and DON’T post would be quite fun too.




Filed under Beauty, BLINGALING, Celebrities, Clothing, Daily Banter, Girly Stuff, JEWELRY, Makeup, Mistake, Oooh la la, Pro Tips, Weddings



NAUTICAL IS IN!!! And M.A.C is in big!

Lip glass
Powder blushes
Eye pencils
Lip pencils
Nail lacquers
Bronzing powders
Body oils
Liquid lip balm
Face blender brush

…is what we can be looking forward to with this new nautical “Hey Sailor” range available online and in store as from May 2012.











I cannot wait. I can see the whole nautical nail art having a viral effect on the net lately, of course why wouldn’t one of our favorite makeup companies not take advantage of the trend?

You love it?



Filed under Beauty, Blush, CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS, Contour, Daily Banter, Events, Eyelashes, Eyes, Girly Stuff, Gossip, Highlight, Hotties, Inspiration, Life as a Makeup Artist, Lips, Makeup, Media, News, Oooh la la, Products, Trends

Porno Pregnancy and Other Weird Stories

Hi Pouters!

Ever heard a story of how someone fell pregnant and thought quietly to yourself:  yeaaah right……

Well…. here is my countdown of the most weird and wonderful ways to fall pregnant…


When Jennifer Stewart, a white woman married to a white man, gave birth to black baby, she didn’t confess to having sex with a black man. Oh no, she claimed to have been impregnated by the black male lead in a 3-D porno film. Luckily her husband believed her. He’s probably the only one.


 Amber Miller gave birth to a baby girl just a few minutes after crossing the finish line at the Chicago Marathon. When she finished the race at six hours and 25 minutes, she felt contractions, grabbed a quick sandwich, and stopped by the hospital to pop out her baby. She says her doctor advised her to walk half the race. That’s the part of this story I find inconceivable. Her doctor gave her permission to run a marathon while nine months preggo? I’m no doctor, but that just sounds absolutely insane.


This story is so absolutely insane, that I don’t know where to start. A 15-year-old girl in South Africa (who I should mention believes she did NOT have a vagina) became pregnant by the most unusual of circumstances. She had just finished giving her boyfriend a blow job when her ex discovered them together and stabbed her in the stomach. The puncture wound caused her boyfriend’s sperm to drop into her uterus and fertilize an egg, which became a baby. That is all. So far, this story appears to be true. I need a nap now.


Carrying a child for 48 months is particularly beneficial when receiving extra food stamps for your bun in the oven. Leah Wright of Maine was indicted for fraudulently obtaining food stamps during her long, false pregnancy


Mia Washington sought medical help when she noticed her twin babies looked nothing alike. A DNA test revealed that the twins have two different fathers. Yep, two eggs were fertilized by two different men’s sperm. It’s known as heteropaternal superfecundation aka “sleeping with two men in one day without protection.” She later admitted she had an affair. Duh.


A 90-year-old Chinese woman went to the doctor complaining of back pain and an X-ray revealed a 58-year-old calcified fetus in her abdomen. Back in 1949, when the child should have been born, her doctor told her she had a still birth.


Those of us who have even the most fundamental math skills know that giving birth to seven babies in 11 months is not possible. But that’s what Precious Donatus Ogbonna of Lagos claims to have happened to her. She gave birth to her first child in August 2009, after 11 years of trying to have a baby, but the child died five days later. Ten months later, she conceived and delivered the seven babies within intervals of one month. She was later arrested, but it was unclear as to why. Perhaps for lying?


Last, but certainly not least, a fun story about necrophilla…. Allegedly, Felicity Marmaduke, a 38-year-old mortuary worker, was arrested for having sex and becoming impregnated by one of the corpses at the Mourning Glory Mortuary. MOURNING GLORY MORTUARY? ANYONE ELSE SEE THE IRONY HERE??  I guess stiffs can get stiffies post-mortem? She apparently planned to sue her corpse’s estate for child support.

Don’t we live in a mad world?

I suppose the immaculate conception can only be used one time, ever, in history…



Filed under Daily Banter, WTF

An Open Letter to: Little Miss Desperate Broadcaster

Dear Desperate;

disclaimer: take anything and everything said by me with a pinch of salt on move on... do not dwell on what could have been said or not said in this post... if you think this post may be about you, it probably is but don't be so vain... that is all.

Your constant seeking of attention has really started to get on my tits, and I have to tell you that you appear somewhat crazy in my eyes. I hardly ever log onto any of my various social networks without seeing your name splattered all over my screen, be it on my phone or my PC and I am a little concerned for your mental wellbeing.

Can it be healthy to spend so much time on social networking and do you really think you are famous because you will always get a response to anything you post, the responses are generally because you love to post about how you don’t understand how people, namely love interests, can treat you the way they do. The replies to all your posts are generally from creepy men on the other side of their computers who not only respond to your every post but every other pretty girl on the internet that would let them have the privledge to respond to…

I need inform you that not all men are dicks. I see various people have told you this many a time and you continue to disagree with them and try to convince them of your argument. I have been biting my lip on this topic many a time when I have been subjected to sit around you and listen to you whine about how terrible the male species are in general. I am sorry to say this, but from all your “badl luck” in relationships, it seems to be that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM, from my outside point of view anyway.

Humans, by nature these days seem to blame anyone but themselves for their own misfortunes and wrong doings. People love to let the world know that they are upset with this or cannot believe this person did that or what a dick your new boyfriend is because of some stupid reason.

You will very rarely see a person who has gone through a breakup or hardship with a friend actually say “well, I was wrong” and putting it on your Facebook status does not count as admitting to being “sorry”, man up, grow some balls and say it to that persons face and make sure you make your point – very clear!

You, Miss Desperate Broadcaster,  in particular have been in various relationships, each relationship that breaks up, you happen to fall into the next relationship within a few hours, (even sometimes with the person you just broke up with), and I have to tell you, if you are silly enough to believe that fighting, then breaking and getting back together (and broadcasting it to the entire world), is good and healthy for any relationship… you are doing it wrong. Very wrong.

Let’s not forget after each and every fight and breakup you find yourself telling the entire world how you love being single, and you will be single for a very long time – we all know that isn’t true, so don’t lie to us, and stop lying to yourself. And then you coincedently check into your “baby’s home” or “lovers abode” sometimes you have been known to check into your ex’s house…. Ugh, you make sick.

Get over it. I, for one, really do not care. You just annoy me. I just thought you should know.

You are abusing the internet, I believe you should be banned for at least a month, but the problem is, would you be able to survive a month without broadcasting your life to the world in the hopes of getting countless repsonses to your many rants and raves about how terrible the world is to you?



Filed under Daily Banter, Relationships



You will need….

* 1 and 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 2 tablespoons white sugar
* 2 tablespoons baking powder
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 and 1/4 cups water
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil



: sift flour, sugar, baking powder and salt into a large bowl
: whisk water and oil in a small bowl
: make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients, and pour in the wet ingredients into the well
: stir until blended, but keep it a lumpy mixture
: heat a lightly oiled pan over medium high heat
: drop batter by large spoonfuls onto the pan, cook until bubbles form and edges are dry
: flip over and cook until browned on other side

Serve with fresh berries and strawberries and coconut cream.



Filed under Bored, cooking, Daily Banter, Diets, Food, Girly Stuff, Health, IN THE KITCHEN, Oooh la la, Recipes, Weekend Crushes