Remember that Time Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With a Tree?

Hiya Poutlings

I am aware that the title of this post is going to baffle your minds if you haven’t heard this ridiculous story, but read on just a little and you will understand why I titled it that and nothing else. PG 13.

Autism “curer” and “literary genius” Jenny McCarthy is promoting her newest book “Bad Habbits : Confessions of a Recovering Catholic” and she learned the best way to sell a book is to spill some ridiculous scandolous (not really) secrets about all the time she did drugs and fucked a tree so hard that it squirted sap like it’s never squirted sap before.

BACKGROUND FOR THOSE THAT ARE NOT AWARE OF WHO SHE IS: For those that are not aware, she is an American model, comedian, actress, author, activist and game show host. She began her career in 1993 as a nude model for Playboy and was later named the playmate of year. More recently, she has written books about parenting and has become an activist promoting research into enviromental causes and alternative biomedical treatments for autism. She has claimed that vaccines case autism – claims which are considered false by the medical community.

It’s been reported that Jenny writes while partying she popped so many Ecstasy pills that it made her take off all her clothes (like she needs Ecstasy pills to do that) and practically rub her what nots all over the tree and screw it.

“The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping.”

She then writes that her friends who were also rolling hard got paranoid and wanted to run to the road for help.

“I noticied that we weren’t wearing anything. So I responded `let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach to get our clothes.`”

so… according to Jenny sticking any vaccine needle in your child is wrong, will probably send them to an earthly death and anybody who does it should be dragged into the town square and stoned – BUT – eating a bunch of ectasy pills and then forcibly having sex with a tree until you birth out an acorn baby is okay and not wrong? Good to know. Thanks for clearing that up, Jenny McCarthy, M.D.

Yes, in this case M.D. stands for MANIACALLY DUMB.

*missfitz

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Filed under Celebrities, Media, Models, Sex, What not to do...., WTF

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