“What is the Definition of Manhood?”

Hi Pouters

I think sometimes we all need a reality check. We live in a society, especially in South Africa where violence against women exists and rape culture is a very real thing. I do not want to make everyone live in fear but just a gentle nudge, that hey, this is real, it’s happening… and obviously not only in South Africa.


 I am not sure if you have been following the terribly sad news of the recent spate of gang rapes in India in the past several months, however the Times of India newspaper is currently running a set of adverts imploring men to treat women with respect through the stark statement,

“The true test of your manhood is how you treat a woman. All woman. Any woman. Every woman.”

Personally, I’m pleased the newspaper is questioning the traditional aspects of toxic masculinity, like “rash driving” and “drunken brawls“, which some men do think defines their manhood. Yet, I also think their conclusion about proving your manhood by behaving a certain way (even if its the right way) is problematic : “If you do not respect a woman, you are only half a man.”

That’s the flip side of the same thinking that says guys aren’t manly if they don’t want sex all the time. Just like sexist expectations of femininity can imprison women, sexist expectations can imprison men, too.

I’m all for eradicating rape culture and believe that South Africa could truly learn something from shocking adverts of a similar nature. But is the answer to tell men to act like “real men? In my opinion, no. It’s time to tell them to act like good men.

X missfitz


Filed under Advertising, Health, Media, News

5 responses to ““What is the Definition of Manhood?”

  1. This is a topic that touches me each time someone brings it up. The pig who raped me still leads a normal life because of our Eastern Cape Department of justice who has dismally failed to deliver. I laugh at this each time, the investigating officer asked me where the witness was ?(and since the case took more than a year to go to court she had left EC for Cape Town)

    I told her (inv. Officer) that the witness now stays in CPT and I only talk to her(witness) on facebook, and she said “Can’t you inbox her and ask her when will she come back so we can move the court case date to when she is in EC?” I just laughed because they could’ve just sent her a subpoena and refund her fare monies or book a bus ticket like its been done in other cases.

    Its funny and twice not so funny. 😦

    • Hi there, wow, I am so sorry, I cannot imagine what you have been through, but thank you for sharing your story.
      Yes, I agree, our justice department stinks, and like so many others who have raised their voice only for it to fall on deaf ears, is truly sickening to say the least.
      Feel free to get in contact with me if you ever need to talk, I won’t be able to offer much but just an ear to listen.
      Stay strong princess, keep your head up high and be sure to not let your tiara fall.
      much love xx

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  3. Isabel Marant

    I have not been on this site for a while but i must say that this post hits home. i will be back to see others in the future.

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