Category Archives: Books

THE OFFICIAL FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – DO IT YOURSELF BONDAGE KIT…

Greetings Poutlings

It’s time for another sour post about the best-selling-yet-worse-written book that has sold millions of copies on hype alone, yet it is somehow credited with saving marriages the world over (what, pray tell, were you all doing before this horrendous piece of “literature” came long?? playing Scrabble??) has now inspired an OFFICIAL 50 SHADES SEX TOY RANGE….

Which, just happens to be out just in time for Christmas.

THE OFFICIAL 50 SHADES OF GREY SEX TOY RANGE

GRRRRRR.

This actually gives me a stress headache. If you NEED to re-enact scenes from a childishly-written book using sex toys inspired by said book, your sex life is truly beyond saving.

Ok, that’s harsh… let me put it this way… YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG… (and it’s not beyond saving, I need to stop being so damn melodramatic). At least people are making an effort to get jiggy-with-it and I do appreciate that once people pop out children, getting off often goes out of the window. So, well done for trying.

After seeing this stupid sex toy range, I cannot shake the thought of suburban couples blindfolding and spanking each other with the £24.99  (roughly R300) Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle and the wife moaning as Anastatia does in the book: ‘Spank me please… sir.‘ just makes me squirm and feel very uncomfortable… not in a good way.

Am I overreacting? Probably. The commerical world is so over rated and it would appear that E.L. James has just joined the MASSIVE-SELL-OUT bandwagon to make more money over hype.

And this is what I think about that….

**missfitz

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Filed under Books, Daily Banter, Media, Oooh la la, Sex, WTF

Fifty Shades of Dismay

Hiya Poutlings

In case we hadn’t noticed, Hermione Granger, *ahem* I mean Emma Watson is all grown up.

Emma in Vanity Fair promoting The Perks of Being A Wallflower

After a couple of months of rumours that she’s been ALREADY been cast in the movie of Fifty Shades of Grey, it turns out that she is still mulling over swapping her broom-stick for a leather paddle and her school tie for a whole wardrobe full of different grey silk ties to play the irritatating virgin-turned-submissive, Anastatasia Steele.

But hold on your wizard hats as Emma, who is now 22 years old hasn’t had the displeasure or pleasure (depends on who you are and what your stand on well written literature is…) of reading the book so possibly she thinks it’s about some painter lacking inspiration when it comes to his colour palette.

“The thing is I haven’t read any of the books because I haven’t read a script so it’s quite difficult to know what I’m turning down potentially but I hear it’s quite raunchy.

I mean if there’s interesting character development and there’s an interesting story then I would consider it – but I haven’t been offered anything.”

This made me laugh, because in her role in The Perks Of Being A Wallflower she says she found it difficult watching the kissing scenes back.

“It’s really funny because when I watch the film back, there are a few things I can’t watch. I cant’t watch the kissing scenes”

-said the potential-50-shades-submissive-actress…

“I told the director [Stephen Chbosky] that I ahve just come from plaing Hermione Granger and you are expecting me to dance and poutting me in corsets, and it’s difficult.”

I’m not sure how she is going to take being spanked and locked up in the play room while whomever is cast as the male lead, (Robert Pattison probably) plays the piano naked with his eyes closed then….

Do you see her being able to pull such a roll off? I’m not sure. I think she could do it, but I don’t think she will…

**missfitzz

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Filed under Books, Celebrities, Movies

How Did These Books Get Published?

Hi Pouters…

With the amount of aspiring authors there are in the world, the publishers can really make some odd choices when it comes to choosing who to publish and who not to publish.

In my mind, these following books are complete publishing fails!

Oh no. Please don’t tell me. I don’t even want to know.

Damnit!! You’re telling me the trick I’ve been missing all this time is…. MIND POWER?

Yay! I can, maybe, go camping for the first time in my life… but not until I’ve read this cover to cover!

All those after life problems with have to deal with… I can’t believe there aren’t more books like this on the shelves!

Compiled by the old cat women who lives across the street… presented without commentary!

Goodness me… maybe he really hates you??

I didn’t know you could get “uncircumcised.”

Anyone perhaps looking for a change in career? Well, look no further.

Really? Ok then. I’ll practice!!

This sounds to me like one of those hobbies you wouldn’t want your friends to know about… Like knitting for men, although this is just somewhat creepier than knitting.

What weird publications have you seen Pouters?

**missfitzzz

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Filed under Books

“THE GABRIEL METHOD” – BEAUTY FROM WITHIN

Good day my Pouters!

I Sandy thought I would share something about my personal self.  Maybe its something that you would find interesting?  Let me know ok?

I lost  15kg about 2 years ago in 3 months or so.  In measurements it was a whole metre and a half I lost around my body.  (that’s a lot)  And have kept it off with no struggle.  I eat what I want and work out when I want.  Eating a whole slab of chocolate about 3 times a week is no problem for me.  And no, I do not resort to sticking a finger down my throat or “dieting”.

It’s the problem of today… DIETS!  I just woke up the one day and decided that it was time to change.  What caused the change?  THE GABRIEL METHOD!  The most amazing book you must read one day regarding your health.  What made me want to change?  Well, being in a relationship.  I have an amazing man in my life.  Having a great partner can make you want to be the best you can be.  Some couples  “let go” of themselves regarding appearance once they’ve found a better half. Point is… you have to maintain what attracted that person to you.  Or in the future boredom will strike the relationship.  Men are visual creatures after all.

I wanted to be the best me I could be for him.. In the end…. I was being the best part for me too.  Things were changing within me.  Only for the better.  I have never met a person that said..   “I want to be the worst me, be unhealthy, let go, be lazy and just look like im a McDonald’s addict.”

You might think it’s spoiling him, but once you get the ball going.  You realize how much you been missing out on yourself  when you’re not looking after your body.  Our relationship only got better, stronger and happier.  Plus it inspired a few more people in my life to make the change.

In the end, you have to better yourself. Always!

Anyway, if you’re struggling with weight, health issues or just maybe need a bit of a change.  Mentally and physically of course, then I suggest you get The Gabriel Method book.  Its unlike any other book you’ll read.  I read the book and a switch went on in my mind.  Started eating healthy and it’s not bland gross food.  Its real foods.  I craved healthy foods.  And it doesn’t tell you to cut out all those things you love.  In my case, chocolate and cupcakes.  Na ah.. I cannot explain to you what it all does in one short post.  I suggest that you get the book and feel your mind open up!

So when I say “beauty from within” it’s meant nutritionally and not all that emo crap yada yada.. (giggles)

Sandysands xx

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