Tag Archives: Joan Rivers

A MILLION RAND MANICURE

Hiya Poutlings

Nail art has been around for a long while, but only in the past year or so has it evolved into something you were more likely to see on your cool artsy friend into a ubiquitous trend spotted on everyone from Zooey Deschanel to Beyonce.

…on the off chance you have $250,000 (roughly R1,750,000.00 – 1 million, 750 thousand SOUTH AFRICAN RANDS) you’re looking to be really careless with, and you’ve already ruled out eating it, snorting things with it and donating it to the poor, why not make like Kelly Osbourne at the Emmy’s and cash in on the Azature black diamond manicure.

Kelly Osbourne’s Nails @ The Emmys

Ladies and gentlemen of the interwebs, meet the most expensive nail polish in the world: Azature’s Black Diamond. The shimmery black formula contains 267 carats of crushed diamonds, and one bottle will cost you $250,000. The other day, I spent R200 on some Essie nail polishes and I felt a little guilty and self indulgent, so I don’t even know how to comprehend the fact that this exists.

Can you imagine, everytime you chipped your manicure on your keyboard, you’d be losing about $1,000. Talk about stressful.

What, why are you reading this blog post in that tone of voice. It is a completely reasonable and responsible way to spend your money, right?

To Kelly Osbourne’s credit, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she, being a Joan-Rivers-approved-television-personality and Famous Person, got her Black Diamond manicure for free, it is still completely and utterly fucking ridiculous. There, I said it. Now I’m more optimistic about celebrity nail news.

Apparently, Azature is designing to sell to a department store version for $25, but I think I’ll just DIY my own by shredding up some R200 notes and mixing them into a bottle of Essie and then to proceed to cry myself to sleep…You know, it is a sick, sad, world we live in, especially with $250,000 manicures and all.

 **missfitzz

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Filed under Beauty, Celebrities, Events, Fashion, Girly Stuff, Nails, WTF

All I Want For Christmas is a Nip Here and a Tuck There…

Hiya Poutlings! 😉

We all want to look good all the time and never get old that’s why many turn to plastic surgery as a the last resort. However, not all corrective surgeries turn out the way we wanted. Many end up feeling less confident after than before the surgery. Going under the knife is by no means pleasant, anyone who has ever had any type of surgery will agree however celebrities seem to take it for granted. If you are a celebrity and haven’t had anything done, even if you look stunning, the chances are that you will have some work done in the near future. However, many people including celebrities get addicted of a little nip and a little tuck once in a while so they can’t wait to have another plastic surgery done. We’re not going to talk about the moral side of it but you may consider thinking about that aspect of this issue after seeing how some celebrities look after having some work done on them.

Lets have a look at some obvious platic surgery victims…

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

Many argue whether Cristina Aguilera had a boob job, but after seeing this photo in which we can clearly see a scar under her armpit I think there’s no doubt about it.   She wasn’t very good at hiding it either.

TARA REID

Tara Reid has a tummy almost as bad as Courtney Love’s and you would think that Tara just gave birth. However, she chose a wrong plastic surgeon that completely ruined her abs. She admits that she’s doesn’t like her abs and that she’s ashamed of the way her stomach looks.

COURTNEY LOVE

Now back to Courtney Love; at least Courtney has an excuse for looking like this, she gave birth. But it seems that her wrinkly abs are a result of a liposuction gone wrong. Don’t you think?

JOAN RIVERS

 Joan Rivers is an expert at criticizing but I bet she hasn’t got a mirror in her house. I cannot stand her, but I think I can say without prejudice that her disastrous plastic face would scare anyone. I think that her tactic is that she digresses people from her appearance by criticizing other badly dressed celebrities. But I’m not sure it’s working.

 DONATELLA VERSACE

Donatella Versace a fashion icon is a living proof how a plastic surgery victim can ruin her outer shell. It seem that once you’ve been caught in the plastic surgery circle there’s no getting out, not even if you have the best taste in the world for fashion.

VIVICA A FOX

Even if you are one of the most beautiful women on the planet it doesn’t mean that you won’t lack confidence. Take Vivica A. Fox as an example, she had breast implants and now it looks like one of them is leaking. (I  didn’t attack the picture, some random on the web did by the way. I would at least do it with a pretty font! 😉 )

VICTORIA BECKHAM

If you decide to have a boob job don’t make the same mistake as Victoria Beckham. This Posh Spice decided to go bigger and now she’s all over the place. That is in no way attractive.

KENNY RODGERS

But the women are not the only ones who can get addicted of plastic surgery. Kenny Rodgers got it bad. This country singer just didn’t know when enough is enough. Hasn’t anyone told him that less is more? (Sandylashxx, in this case agree with me! bwahaha!)

CHER

 The queen of plastic surgery managed to look young for a long time. But no she looks as old as the rest of her generation. In any case it seem that not even plastic surgery can slow time as much as we would wish it to do so.

JOCELYN WILDENSTEIN

Jocelyn Wildenstein looks almost as bad as the woman who injected cooking oil into her face. She wanted to keep her husband by her side so she decided to improve her looks but managed to do quite the opposite, in my opinion, can you image waking up next to that every morning? haha.

So, what do YOU think? Is it worth it?

**missfitzz 

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Filed under Celebrities, Plastic Surgery, What not to do....

Top 10 Most Annoying People on TV

Don’t you just hate those girls that say “OH MY GAWD” for every little thing and the TV presenters that put on their super fake smiles that make you wanna cringe? Is there a specific person who irritates you so much that you wanna throw your supper at the TV? Well, I’m sure I’m not the only one, but I definitely have my fair share! So, for a little mid-week treat I’ve decided to list my top 10 most annoying people on TV, just for your pure enjoyment!

10) Liezl van der Westhuizen

 Now, it’s no secret that us here at Pout aren’t fans of Liezl (see Sandy’s SA celeb blog), but it’s not for no reason. Yes, I’m sure she is a lovely girl, but ever since that disastrous Idols season where Jason didn’t win, and then he did, I just can’t seem to stand the girl. It’s like when the cameras roll, her face goes into “Joker” mode and she starts reading the teleprompter like her life depends on it. She gives this tensed feel when she presents and just makes the person watching feel like grinding their teeth.

9) Debra Morgan from Dexter

OK, here I’m not sure if the actress is supposed to be annoying or stupid or not, so I’ll just say it’s Debra I can’t stand. Maybe it’s her face. Or the attitude. Or the way she pulls her face when she has an attitude that get to me, but either way, she’s bloody terrible and almost puts me off watching Dexter. Almost, but not quite.

8 ) Denise Richards

Words are not enough to describe my loathing of this woman. I think I watched her show on the E! channel once and it’s an hour I will never get back. If she’s not bitching about something, she’s talking about how thin and pretty she is throughout the show, making it feel like she’s trying to convince herself more than anything.

7) The Married to Rock girls: Etty, Susan, AJ and Josie

I’m not sure why they irritate me. Their faces don’t move much and I’m not sure if they’re in their mid-fifties trying to look twenty or in their mid-twenties trying to look… um twenty? I think the fact that I’m into the whole emo/scene thing and dating a rocker is the ultimate fantasy (OK, let’s be honest, the ones they are married to I’m not so sure of…), but they are everything I’ve grown up to believe rock is against. Cold, shiny, hard plastic (faces, boobs, etc), is just so wrong for the rock culture.

6) Joan Rivers

I just heard an outcry of pouters and I’m sure some of you are waving your fists at me, but Miss Rivers, to me, is one terribly, terribly annoying woman. Not only is that piercing voice enough to give me shivers (Shivers, Rivers teehee) but that plastic surgery and the fact that she bitches about what every person on the planet wears just drives me insane! I must say, her one liners are pretty funny sometimes though…

5) Serena van der Woodsen from Gossip Girl

Yes, Serena has lovely blonde hair, the life we all want and the wardrobe we’d all die for, but is it just me or was there basically no purpose for this poor girl from season 2 onwards except her wardrobe? She breaks up with Dan and becomes the village bicycle only to cry whenever a dude dumps her and then goes to the next idiot (and none of them were ever good-looking really) who does the same thing. She makes girls look stupid and superficial.

4) The Second Ruby from Supernatural

She makes me think of Daffy Duck. Sorry, she just does. Not only did I like the blonde girl Ruby posessed more in Supernatural who actually reminded me a bit of a blonde Megan Fox, and not only did Ruby manipulate poor Sam with her demon blood, but this actress is actually married to Jared Padelecki (Sam) in real life! OK, so this one is a bit of a green monster. I apoligize! I guess it could have been worse, she could have been married to Jensen Ackles (Dean) instead, then I really would have had something horrible to say.

3) Tyra Banks

Not Tyra from America’s Next Top Model, because she is hosting something she knows there, but Tyra when she presents The Tyra Banks Show is like watching The Exorcist in a church. Tyra speaks to her guests like. they. are. reeeTARded. She proNOUNces. each. word. preCISEly. like. this. *insert hand movements here* ‘Nuff said.

2) Peter Ishkhans from Peter Perfect

The show is fabulous, I love Peter Perfect of the Style Network (read: LOVE!), but this boy is just too fabulous for his own good. He sings when he speaks, he prances around like a fairy and that accent is just too much to handle. He does so much wrong and is so annoying, but I don’t hate him one bit, because it works for him!

and the winners are….

1) The Kardashian Klan or Kult

“OH MY GAWWWD!” was probably invented by these girls and has been copied, mocked and/or abused by their followers and non-followers since. Us at Pout aren’t fans, as you can tell, and think the world should be Kleansed ASAP!

So, there you have it! This was fun. Now, I’m going to enjoy the rain. Have a lovely hump day further peeps, two more days till the weekend so get those Daquiris and girls’ nights ready and please, stay away from any of the TV shows involving any of the peeps above, for your own good!

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Filed under Celebrities, Funny, Gossip