Tag Archives: Playboy

Remember that Time Jenny McCarthy Had Sex With a Tree?

Hiya Poutlings

I am aware that the title of this post is going to baffle your minds if you haven’t heard this ridiculous story, but read on just a little and you will understand why I titled it that and nothing else. PG 13.

Autism “curer” and “literary genius” Jenny McCarthy is promoting her newest book “Bad Habbits : Confessions of a Recovering Catholic” and she learned the best way to sell a book is to spill some ridiculous scandolous (not really) secrets about all the time she did drugs and fucked a tree so hard that it squirted sap like it’s never squirted sap before.

BACKGROUND FOR THOSE THAT ARE NOT AWARE OF WHO SHE IS: For those that are not aware, she is an American model, comedian, actress, author, activist and game show host. She began her career in 1993 as a nude model for Playboy and was later named the playmate of year. More recently, she has written books about parenting and has become an activist promoting research into enviromental causes and alternative biomedical treatments for autism. She has claimed that vaccines case autism – claims which are considered false by the medical community.

It’s been reported that Jenny writes while partying she popped so many Ecstasy pills that it made her take off all her clothes (like she needs Ecstasy pills to do that) and practically rub her what nots all over the tree and screw it.

“The texture felt so good that I decided to rub my head and boobs all over it. It was a tree I was humping.”

She then writes that her friends who were also rolling hard got paranoid and wanted to run to the road for help.

“I noticied that we weren’t wearing anything. So I responded `let’s not. We’re naked. Let’s just try to sneak back to the beach to get our clothes.`”

so… according to Jenny sticking any vaccine needle in your child is wrong, will probably send them to an earthly death and anybody who does it should be dragged into the town square and stoned – BUT – eating a bunch of ectasy pills and then forcibly having sex with a tree until you birth out an acorn baby is okay and not wrong? Good to know. Thanks for clearing that up, Jenny McCarthy, M.D.

Yes, in this case M.D. stands for MANIACALLY DUMB.

*missfitz

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PLAYGIRL OFFERS PRINCE HARRY 1 MILLION US DOLLARS

Hiya Poutlings!

Those of you that follow us on Facebook may have seen my little blurb post about Prince Harry’s naked photos that got leaked onto the internet.

the naked chef, oops, I mean the NAKED PRINCE.

To which a royal source had confirmed the pictures were infact of Prince Harry and his pasty white bottom… in more news that would make all the posh Brits drop their tea cups…. (I am far from being on the posh ones, but I did drop a tea cup this morning ūüė¶ )

Well, it was only a matter of time until the media started to jump on the bandwagon, and now magazines worldwide are clamoring to do get him to do it again and photograph the bits no one got to see. Playgirl has taken the cake this time though!

THIS IS REAL PUBLICATION. I LEARNT SOMETHING NEW. I THOUGHT IT WAS FICTIONAL. HAHAHA.

Everyone pretty much knows royal protocol would avoid this type of exposure, excuse the pun, at all cost, but¬†Playgirl are offering him¬†this, for lack of a better word, opportunity, just because they can… and plus, score on publicity for them too, right? I¬†wasn’t entirely sure Playgirl was an actual publication until now.

Playgirl is ready to offer  Harry $1 US million for the chance to photograph his junk, but they tell E! that it’s obviously a pie-in-the-sky dream; the Playgirl publisher Vincent Stevens said:

‚ÄúThere‚Äôs no way in the world that he would ever consider this, but you‚Äôre talking about numbers in the six figures right off the bat.‚ÄĚ

Ooh. Six figures. To Royalty… AS IF! Not even the slightest chance… He probably spent more than that on his Vegas bar tab in which got him into this mess in the first place.

His poor grand-ma-ma, she must be ever so shocked, horrified and mortified that the magazines with PLAY (Playboy, Playgirl) in the title are so obsessed with anything related to royalty like that downside to Dutchess Kate’s family, her cousin, Katrina. I would love to see him trying to explain himself to the Queen, because her tits must be in on giagantic tangle. Poor old dear. Silly Harry.

Oh well, at least he had fun that night! ūüėõ

**missfitzz

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The Naughty Middleton & Her Crown Jewels

Hiya Poutlings!

Pippa Middleton and her sister, Dutchess Kate

The Middleton family is just oozing with style. Dutchess Katherine is the epitome of classy chic, sister Pippa always look stylish and trend appropriate and now their distant cousin, has emerged on the scene with her own unique and risque aesthtic. My dear Pouters, meet KATRINA DARLING.

The “fun gene” in the Middleton family didn’t all just go to Pippa! Some of it went to Katrina Darling who is unique and risque and who also happens to be a distant cousin – but related to Kate nonetheless. All you have to do is take one look at their hair to know they’re related. THE HAIR ON THEIR HEAD! God. You’re so gross.

Dirty dancing … Katrina Darling performs her raunchy show…

Katrina and Kate are technically second cousins once removed (Kate’s grandfather is the brother of Katrina’s grandmother), but still you can see some resemblance from their shiny luxouris locks to their wide set eyes and big smile. Kate and Katrina have many an enviable feature there is no wonder why Katrina is gaining some fame.

While you’re here, take a look at some of Katrina’s pin up modeling….

It was revealed a few months before the Royal Wedding that the soon-to-be Dutchess was related to an ex-banker and soon-to-be full time burleque dancer there was quite an outrage. Fancy British people everywhere dropped their tea cups and their mouths to the floor. Then Hugh Heffner knew exactly what to do – let the dust settle, wait about a year and then give Katrina a chance to publically shake what her mama gave her in an eight page spread in Playboy September 2012. That is my version of events anyway, and I’m sticking to it.

When things get a bit boring around the palace, which I’d imagine as quite often, Kate Middleton can skip over to her cousin’s house to learn some burlesque moves to impress William. (Or Harry…. yes, I still believe Kate will have a ginger heir.)

Apparently, there isn’t any frontal nudity in the photoshoot, except for one topless shot, so it seems like Katrina’s keeping it tasteful. Who knows if the Palace requested she do so or not, but there is one thing we can be certain of, these Middleton girls have style and PANACHE!

Kate has nailed conservative-chic and Katrina’s got bawdy elegance down to a T.

How wonderfully stylish their Christmases must be!

**missfitzz

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It’s not high morals, its common sense. Far too Much, Far too Young.

Hiya Poutlings!

How many times have you flipped through the pages of a fashion magazine or watched a runway show and thought to yourself that a certain model was too skinny?  Too fat?  Too short?  Too pretty?  Too average?  Too tall?  Too curvy?  Too lanky?  Too old?  Too young?

If at least one of these thoughts has never crossed your mind, I think it’s safe to say that you are in the minority.  At some point, each of these characteristics has caused a stir in the fashion industry.  The continuing curvy/straight sized debate was perhaps one of the hottest topics in 2011 and was covered by numerous media outlets.

The modeling and fashion world is a harsh, over-sexualized environment that is not suited for children or teens. When child models are getting exposed to the same realities as the adult models it’s obvious that it is wrong. Somehow, we get to see younger and younger child models nowadays acting all grown up, and quite frankly, I find it very disturbing.

Thylane Lena-Rose – a 10 year old girl.

It’s an issue that everyone’s spoke about now and it’s just too much for me to understand. The photographs of a 10 year old child model, Thylane Lena-Rose Blondeau that appeared in Vogue Paris December/January 2010/11 issue has caused outrage amongst the parents and public.

A 10 year old girl is wearing lipstick, actually scrap that, a full face of makeup, a low cut dress and heels while lying in a pose that any grown model over her teens would… Is this really¬†just marketing to paedophiles?

Now, do not get me wrong, Thylane boasts quite the modelling CV that most grown models would be proud to have. She walked the catwalk for Jean Paul Gaultier at the age of four and has had several magazine shoots.

Thylane is just 10 years old…. Here she is pictured looking more like her age.

Thylane is a beautiful, but what 10 year old child is not? She has piercing eyes, waist length hair and pouting lips which have brought comparasions of her with a youthful Brigitte Bardot (who started her modelling career with Elle at 15 years old).

Brigitte Bardot

Brigitte Bardot

There was plenty rage about this particular 14 page fashion spread but many more that are in fashion world today.

French Vogue has also featured a truly disturbing photo shoot feauring girls of around 6 years old in heavy makeup, high heels and designer clothes.

These instances are most definately not the first of their kind. The fashion industry is badly publicized for hiring underage models to walk the runway or pose for a photo in adult clothing, assuming adult attire. Somehow, it never caused enough stir to stop the whole thing.

There are boundaries. They are just children.

With child beauty pageants still much on the rise, it’s really no wonder a fashion industry would use little children to sell stuff even if the campaign was received highly negatively. It does always draw a lot of attention, does it not? But is Vogue alone to blame? Someone allowed it. If you see a 10 year old working somewhere other than the entertainment and fashion industry the employer would be seen as a law breaker.

Elle Fanning (younger sister to Dakota Fanning) was chosen to be the face of Marc Jacobs when she was 13 years old, and Hailee Steinfeld chosen to be the face of Miu Miu at 14 years old.

Somehow children are all over fashion and entertainment now. I think of it as the Disney era, they are stars made for kids to look up to but do the parents push them too far?

Child pop stars, fashion icons, beauty pageant contestants, and models are popular. The topic of over sexualization of children has been debated and talked over and over but what has it lead to?

“CHILDREN MUST STAY CHILDREN”, a phrase that has been said so many times and guess what no one¬†gives a toss¬†attantion anymore. Still modelling and singing or dancing is child labour so the only option there is to ban it all together with those beauty pageants (to avoid crazy parents giving their children botox!).

If you have notied the tendency in the fashion world, young models and usually girls in their teen years, full of naivety, facing the harsh realities that they are not prepared for.

The fashion industry is harsh even for 20 something year old models. How can parents let their own children be exposed to such an industry? It’s clear as day to me that child models simply do not belong in fashion.

Controversial advertising?

When I see¬† these Vogue images, the scenario I have playing in my head is just¬† little girls playing dress up ‚Äď wanting to be just like their mother. Although I am a big fan of controversial advertising this is something we should not want, nor tolerate as the public. For the record, I strongly do not believe that these children are being sexually abused while shooting, I must say at 6 years old, or 10 years old, I would of loved the oppurtunity to get all dolled up, hair, makeup and get to play dress up in front of a camera, it would of been fun, and I’m sure the parents of these children love attending the shoots to see their little super stars shine, however, not in this capacity!¬†In the grand scheme of things, is it not something you should leave to them doing themselves as oposed to doing it for fun. Actually making money of it and exposing them to the cruel natures of the world that could look at these posed photographs in a bad way?

Enter 12 year old Australian super model Maddison Gabriel.

At the age of 12 years old, Maddison was named¬†the official ambassador¬†of the Australian Gold Coast Fashion Week , which, as you can imagine caused quite an uproar within the community. The Australian prime minister at the time came forward to say that catapulting girls as young as 12 into the fashion industry is crazy, and that he was completely oposed to it. There were various statements made in the media about it, to which Maddison’s mother simply couldn’t understand why there was such a problem with it as apparently, Maddison had known since she was 6 (a whole 6 years prior) that all she had wanted to do was model… She was also quoted saying:

“We‚Äôre trying to get our teenage daughters to act¬† older. I¬† am so happy that I‚Äôve got a daughter who has got a good head¬† on her¬† shoulders.‚ÄĚ

Can someone tell me why in the world we need a 12 or 13 year old girl to act older?

Janice Dickinson, the world’s first supermodel, said it best when she spoke about the personal problems many young children in fashion develop as a result of their fame, and don’t forget the fortune.

“There’s lots of drugs, there’s lots of alcohol, there’s lots of photographers preying on these girls. Thirteen is way too young…”

As if to support Janice’s comments, Martin Robertson, a convicted American sexual predator contacted the Sunday Telegraph the following year from his Texas jail cell and requested photographs and articles about Maddison. When this new broke, Mommy Gabriel criticized the media for reporting controversy in 2007 and thereby alerting Martin Robertson of her daughters existence. She didn’t seem to grasp that Maddison’s modeling career was trulu the underlying cause of Martin Robertson’s interest – it had¬†sexulized Maddison in the predator’s eyes.

In early 2008, one of the worlds most popular photographers, Annie Lebovitz caused a massive stir when she shot 15 year old Miley Cyrus for Vanity Fair. The most controversial image was the provocative photo where Miley appears to be naked and wrapped in a satin sheet. In the accompanying article, written by Bruce Handy, Miley was quoted as saying :

“I think it’s really artsy. It wasn’t in a skanky way, Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought it was really cool. That’s what she wanted me to do, and you can’t say no to Annie”

However once the media erupted into a frenzy, Miley had changed her mind about the shoot and issued the following statement:

“I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed. I never intended for any of this to happen, and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about.”

Vanity Fair later realeased a videa and behind the scenes images supporting their assertion that Miley’s parents and/or minders were on set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley.

VANITY FAIR BEHIND THE SCENES IMAGES

VANITY FAIR BEHIND THE SCENES IMAGES

VANITY FAIR BEHIND THE SCENES IMAGES

Personally, I didn’t have a problem with Annie Lebovitz’s shots of Miley, for the most part. Do I think think they were provocative? Yes. Do I think they were sexual? Yes. But I am in the opinion that her parents were aware of what was going on and they had given their approval of the images. If anything, the image of Miley and her father makes me more uneasy because they seem a bit too close for comfort.

What is interesting to me is how Miley’s opinion of the shoot changed once the controversy began swirling. Do you know what is even more interesting? That her parents let it happen and later tried to absolve themselves of the responsibility behind it. There is no doubt that Annie Lebovitz’s provocative images sexualized Miley, so why should they pretend to be appalled when they clearly knew what was going on?

If anything, today Miley could thank Annie Lebovitz for opening up a whole new market for the name Miley Cyrus¬†to be involved in. Think Maxim, FHM, Playboy, all big money makers and exposure for a pop star once they reach legal age, or is it just me who see’s this?

So, what do you think? Should there be an age restriction when it comes to fashion editorials and modeling? Or do you think a parent’s permission (which clearly can be questionable) is all that is required?

**missfitzz

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Things That Are Wrong With the World : COURTNEY STODDEN

Hi Pouters!

WARNING: THIS POST MAY BLOW YOUR MIND.  

Another Monday, once again something or another has annoyed MissFitz.

Another set of inappropriate photographs of teenagers everywhere on the web and do you want to know who I blame today?¬†Today, it has to be¬†Courtney Stodden‘s fault.

Actually, do you know what?

When Kendall Jenner did her HUGE INAPPROPRIATE PHOTO SHOOT, everyone freaked the fuck out, and justifiably so, right?

She was only 14 years old, she was wearing very little clothing, she looked too sexy for 14, heavy eye makeup, the near-exposed breasts and the sexual poses of an eighth grader. But let’s be very careful not to exploit any young women in the process of looking at the above pictures… because that would be wrong, right?

Let’s rewind back to 2007, a whole 5 years ago.

Meet a VERY young pair of Kylie and Kendall Jenner, back in 2007. Aren’t they cute and how damn cute are they going to be when they hit the club scene and start sucking carrots on film?

Unfortunately, with a momager like hers, you can’t just stick to normal aspiring teenage model stuff like this…

ignore the fact how she has been made to look like big half sis Kim Krapdashian, this is the type of MODELLING these kids should aspire to excel at…

Anyway – back to the one at fault today in my eyes.

Courtney Stodden.

How is it respectable by the rest of the¬†world that this 17 year old can parade around with her ass cheeks hanging out and her implants flapping in the breeze and her best “I’m getting thrashed by a giant meat stick” face and NO ONE CARES?

Is it becase her mother sold her into slavery by “allowing” her to marry Doug Hutchinson?

Is it because, yeah, even though she is only 17 years old, and has been doing this for a while now, it’s ok, because she is Doug’s property, I mean, wife?

I understand that she wants to do it, I do, and I’d respect that if it weren’t for the fact that she still isn’t legally allowed to make her own decisions, I may also respect it, if it wasn’t that she was half an inch away from turining everyone who looks at her photos into pedophiles, and before you start saying “blah blah blahSHE IS ALMOST EIGHTEEN blah blah”, let me refresh your memory, remember this photo? It was taken a year ago.

courtney was only 16 years old.

Now, really, what does she do all day? Does she have business meetings with her mum where they discuss what activity she could do while wearing a bikini next?

Courtney Stodden, playing volleyball on the beach on her own…

Does she spend time scouring the internet, and making notes of special holidays and their dates so she can be sure to do an appropriately themed photo shoot?

Courtney Stodden shits all over your Easter…

Does she have a support group that she attends for people who are sexually attracted to vegetables?

If you do not believe that she needs to go to a support group for people who think vegetables are sexy, go to Youtube now, and type in COURTNEY STODDEN PETA COMMERCIAL. Yikes.

I don’t think so. I think Courtney spends the majority of her time doing stupid shit. I think she wakes up, puts a bikini on, begs Doug to take her shopping and then twiddles her thumbs and and applies self tan until she comes up with enough words that start with the same letter to make a coherent thought to share with Twitter.

How sweet everyone, LOOK!! It’s Courtney’s mum! And isn’t cute that they are bonding together in the kitchen over blank expressions and fake smiles and soy milk!

Really, it doesn’t get any better than this, unless of course you’re Courtney stodden’s mum, who I haven’t really spoken about a lot here, maybe I should start.

The lady in question’s name is Krista Keller, and she was on board with selling her daughter to marry Doug Hutchinson from the start.

Remember this quote?

“It was a very beautiful, loving, nonsexual type of turn. It was admirable on his end. Then he called me tot ell me they were falling for each other. I could tell my daughter had the kind of love when you want to marry a man or be with a man. Even though she was just 16, I knew it was going to take a pretty big man to handle her because of her sexuality and because of the attention she gets.”

Or, even better… this one?

“The gay community has been so loving to her. I know Anna Nicole Smith had a great rapport with the gay community, and I think they’ve been waiting tohave someone they can connect with, and I think Courtney is that person. She is different and frankly stands out. Frankly, we thought she’d fit better in Hollywood.”

Just in case anyone forgot, Anna Nicole Smith was a woman who dropped out of high school and eventually became a stripper. She married her first husband when she was 17 and she had her first child when she was 18. A few years later she divorced her husband, and a year after that she married a wealthy 89-year-old oil tycoon who she allegedly never lived with and who died a little over a year after their wedding. She worked as a model for Playboy and Guess jeans, she was in a handful of mediocre movies, she was a spokesperson for a dietary supplement, and she had her own reality show. She was known, at least in the later part of her life, for being a little wacky, seemingly from the effect of some sort of substance abuse. In the last few years of her life, she gave birth to a baby girl, dealt with loads of paternity drama, and saw her 20 year old son die from an overdose. In 2007, just a few months after her son’s death, Anna died of an overdose herself.

Thats admirable mummy, comparing your daughter to a woman who had myraid mental issues and substance abuse problems, battled with weight issues for a decade, rode a bunch of old-man-dong and ended up overdosing. Super! Also, all of the gay friends I have, think Courtney is complete and utter weirdo.

Last, here’s another quote from Courtney’s mum about Doug himself

“He’s not creepy. He is such a great guy, he’s so intelligent. I see why they are together, he looks like he’s in his early 30s and Courtney looks like she’s in her late 20s. It’s like they’re talking about someone else when they say bad things about Doug. He’s with my daughter and I wouldn’t want a creepy guy with my daughter. He’s a wonderful, great man. Dough was managing Courtney’s career, but he has so many things coming his way that he just can’t handle it all. It will be better for Courtney with me managing her. I love my daughter, and I’ve been a good parent.”

I suppose good parenting is subjective…

You know what world, I rest my case.

**missfitzz

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